FEMINISTS EAT YOUR HEART OUT

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INT. CORNER STORE. DAY.

GIRL searches wall for measuring tape. MAN enters, sees GIRL.

MAN
Hello Señorita!

GIRL
Hello.

MAN
HOW ARE YOU!?

GIRL
I'm well, thanks.

MAN
Wooooow, you're niiiiice, heh?
You have husssbann?

GIRL
Uhhh, no.

MAN
You waaaan one!?

GIRL
No, thank you.

MAN
Ooooh, that's too baaaaad!

GIRL exits.

-------------

This happens all the time. Sometimes funny, usually offensive, always bizarre.

GIRL = me, yesterday, in Los Angeles, California.

Above is a short film I made about the exact same scenario that took place in Cape Town, South Africa.

You need to get off facebook.

Facebook post of the day (oh the irony) is this depressingly good short film by The Sonny Side. Held my attention for the full 6 minutes... I didn't even open another tab while watching.

And I find the actor extremely compelling. May have had something to do with my attention span. And the way he licks his fingers.

Check it out:

Peace and thanks to Jonx Pillemer for the post.

X

Pitt, Jolie, Ellen.

Couldn't get any better than that combo.

Ad.

Looking up hard vs soft sell advertizing for radio, my procrastination took the form of 40 best visual ads according to this site. Here are three of my favourites:

Cheerio.

Confirmation: Bisexuals exist.

I find this hilarious. It has been confirmed (in the New York Times, nogal) that bisexual men do exist. This is the headline:

NO SURPRISE FOR BISEXUAL MEN: THEY DO EXIST.

In an unusual scientific about-face, researchers at Northwestern University have found evidence that at least some men who identify themselves as bisexual are, in fact, sexually aroused by both women and men.

Wow.


The rest of the article is here - in case you're not yet convinced.

Cheerio.

Pound.

Another film from the Short&Sweet festival that I've been enjoying so much over the past few weeks. It really is short and sweet:

Aesthetic vs. Anesthetic.

FB Post of the day by Kaela Bermeister. If you have the time, do watch/listen to this. It's brilliant.

Breaking News.

I'm sitting in the British Airways Business Lounge enjoying my ice cold Coca Cola when my dad comes back from watching some news and says:

"An asteroid is approaching the earth but I think it might miss."

Lekker, Dad. Thanks. Nothing to worry about then.

"Might hit a satellite though".

The Ugly Dance.

Got a kick out of this... literally...

Ella's Ugly Dance

x

Beyonce/Feministing.

FB post of the day is by Anne Hirsch (mad-good South African comedian - blogged about her about a month ago here). This is it:

Booooya. Bye.

Osamacide.

FB post of the day by Daniel Jake Sher - kak funny:

Have a good one.

First Kiss.

This will make your day - guaranteed.

Acting should be this honest.

That's a bit Riche.

A year-or-so ago, I created a wild and wonderful world-wide-web woman... Suzanne Riche. I did it to start having some fun with creating a character on screen, but also to start generating conversation with others online about things I could make Suzanne have strong opinions about that didn't necessarily have to reflect my own.

I did a whooping TWO entries and haven't done anything since. I need inspiration... ideas... crit on the character... etc... So please, feel free to contribute any of the above.

Here's her web site:

Suzanne Riche.

Bizarre Nostalgia.

I miss spending every single fucking night of my life backstage of the Little Theatre with the most aesthetically pleasing cast Hiddingh has ever seen. I made this little promo when the show was still running and just realized I never put it on my blog. So here it is... A late upload of fun and laughs with the ladies...

Dr Strangelove, or: How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb.

Best Line: You can't fight in here! This is the war room!

I watched Dr Stangelove last night for varsity and it was a good laugh. In a good way. I always enjoy spotting the terrible 'visual effects' in oldschool films like these - it makes them awfully authentic though, in my eyes anyway. Dr Strangelove himself is so bloody weird.

If you're feeling up for a lovely mockery (intended or not) of the Cold War, watch it.

Cheers x

Death of the Actor.

Today, the fb status of the day is my own one because it's just that damn epic:

"We presume that if the actor is not at class or rehearsal, it is dead - Sandra Temmingh".

Yep. That is what was said today. And that is also why I haven't been blogging nearly as much as I was before class (and rehearsals) started...!

I will try to do some this weekend. I have lots to chat about.

Cheerio.

x

Y2Gay.

Super-clever satire re: Australian government legalizing gay marriage.

A good laugh.

Enjoy :) x

No No's.

Facebook Status of the day:

"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose"


By The Plastics' drummer: Sasha Righini.

The Theatre Obligation Scale. By Amy Jephta.

Facebook article of the day. Of the week. Hell, it may even be of my life. I don't know. You don't know. So just read it. Especially if you're a "theatre-goer" (whatever that constitutes). It's brilliant.

Going to the theatre can be annoying. 

Sure, I make theatre. Sure, I love it when people come to my shows. 

But man, dragging ones ass out the door can be a real pain.

How does answer the to-see-or-not-to-see question? What if I really, really don't want to? What if I'd rather sit on the couch with a tube of Pringles and paint my toenails? I'd never get out then. If left to my own devices, I'd sit and watch movies and my friends (both of them) would hate me. 

So, I hereby present The Theatre Obligation Scale. A custom made tool for determining whether or not you should go see a play tonight. Just read each question and score accordingly. Award yourself a plus (+) or minus (-) point as indicated.

It beats having to make up excuses or conveniently "forgetting". Don't fight the facts. Just roll with it. 

QUESTIONS:

1. Are you a personal friend of anyone in the show? This includes "yes, I've known them for 10 years" or "yes, I slept with them in undergrad". Because that's pretty personal. (+1 for each person)

2. Have you previously worked with anyone involved in the show? Any and all forms of work qualify. (+1 for each person)

3. Is there a chance that in the future you will need to either a) work with or b) request favours from anyone in the show? This includes "please can I borrow your coffee table" and please will you act for free". (+1 for each person)

4. Did you make an unwitting promise that you would see the show? Anything along the lines of "oh okay, I'll definitely check it out" qualifies. If you said "uh huh", "sure", "yes", "mmkay", "maybe" or "I'll see", that also qualifies. (+1)

5. Will it be educationally enriching for you to attend said show? As in, will you learn something you didn't know about a historical event, or a period in human history, or a topic not on Wikipedia? (+1)

6. Have you heard a favorable review from a critic or a mouth that you respect? Not applicable is "yeah, it was cool" or anything resembling. (+1)

7. Will there be snacks, food, wine, or any manner of edible things on sticks? (+2)

8. Will you be overwhelmed with guilt when asked "hey, why didn't you come see my show" during a chance encounter in Spar? (+1)

9. Have the person/persons involved been to more than 50% of your shows? People who beg for comps excluded. (+1)

10. Do you respect or have you enjoyed the past work of someone in the show (+1 for each person)

11. Does it have a bad title? (-1)

12. Did you cringe when reading the synopsis and/or press release? (-1)

13. Is there nudity from an undesirable source? (-1) For nudity from desirable source, (+1)

14. Are the tickets overpriced? Overpriced being "I could treat myself to a three course meal for that amount". (-1)

15. Is there a sports event of mild to strong significance happening simultaneously? (-1)

16. Does the running time exceed 1h30 mins? (-1/2 point for every half hour exceeded)

17. Does the play require you to move from location to location? (-1/2 point for every move, excluding foyer to seat)

18. Is it written by Athol Fugard? (-2)

19. Did the poster cause you to dry retch? (-1)

20. Have you been continually spammed via email, sms, Facebook or direct confrontation? (-1/2 point for every spam crime exceeding 3 pieces)

Now, to the scoreboard!

1 - 5 points = Stay home. Have a bagel. Hell, go to bed at 8pm. Your conscience does not deserve to be wracked with guilt.

6 points = You should take a shower and seriously contemplate leaving the house, at the very least.

7 - 9 points = Go. Now. Book a ticket and go. Refusal to adhere makes you a Bad Person.

11+ points = There are no options in this matter. If you choose to pass, you will lie awake at night with shame nibbling at the edges of your delinquent brain. When you die, no one will attend your funeral. Even if they agreed to "definitely check it out".

End.

An honest opinion openly expressed.

How much did you enjoy working out your score? Exactly.

Thank you, Amy.

Deuling Cellists.

Facebook Post of the day today is by Jesse Wentzel... I love the music, and the video is really fun and pacey and the conviction that both of the cellists express is hilarious. Proves my theory that muso's often make for good actors - or, at least, good muso's often make for better actors than non-muso's could. Make sense?

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.